Only 7% of our communication is verbal.
38% of it depends on our intonation, or the sound of our voice. For instance: A shaky, uneven voice may suggest that a person is shy, intimidated, or dishonest. A clear, loud voice may indicate that a person is confident.
The largest chunk of communication is body language, which takes up the remaining 55%. These statistics show that a person who knows how to control their body and voice is considered more appealing than someone who knows only a mouthful of pick-up lines and crowd pleasers.
The impression we make on others starts not when we first open our mouth, but with our posture, breathing, appearance, and movement.
Art and Science of Flirting and Body LanguageThe art of flirting is expressed with actions. And non-verbal communication is more important than words. Although flirting signals are rarely noticed consciously -- the message is always sent across.
This artful dance makes possible for strangers to become comfortable with each other, even at their first exchange of words. People become at ease with others when they find the other person pleasant. People appear pleasant as a result of showing interest in others...
Eye Contact and TriangulationOur actions (body language) reflect our interest in various ways. In general, these actions manifest by instinct when we are facing people that we admire. For example, in intimate conversation, people usually look at each other's eyes.
Sometimes we shift our vision from one eye to the other, and to the bridge of the nose. This is what is called the triangular formation of vision. As a person becomes more interested in another, this triangular formation extends downward. Some say that it’s rude to look at a stranger’s body, but when you really think about it, people really can’t help it when they feel attracted.
When people are talking to mere acquaintances, they simply look at their eyes, but when people are interested in someone, they tend to notice a lot more than just the eyes and the nose. Also... looking at the someone's mouth can suggest interest in kissing.
MirroringWe can make others feel comfortable by mirroring or matching their mood. When two people enjoy similar things, they tend to move in sync with each other. This does not mean that every single move they make is exactly the same, but rather that their moods are the same.
Male Flirting Signals:
- hands on belt or belt buckle
- preening / grooming
Female Flirting Signals:
- actions that make her appear smaller
- playing with hair
- exposure of neck or inner wrists
General Flirting Signals:- eye contact
- "accidental" touching
When a person finds something in common with another, an instinctive fondness develops between them. This same effect is replicated by mirroring. In mirroring, you need to tune in to the other person’s movements and imitate them, not mimic them. Also, these actions should not be done in the same pace as his/hers, otherwise, the person might take it instead as mockery. Generally, the mirror actions should be done after 10-20 seconds, and must be done naturally. The other purpose of the mirror actions is to show the other person that you accept and respect their views without them noticing it. In effect, he/she will subconsciously see you as an open-minded person.
Other Flirting SignalsWhen people are interested in the person they’re talking to, they tend to face the person more. This is also noticeable in a person’s arms and legs. When a person’s attention is completely focused on another, their legs, knees, or feet are always extended in the direction of the other person. Another common signal is the pupils of our eyes. When people like what they see, their pupils increase in size, and tend to blink more. Eyes can blink in sync when looking into the eyes of the person they like.
A man shows his readiness to get involved by putting his hands on his hips, or putting his thumbs behind his belt. Most men do this to appear macho and posed, but a commonly unknown fact is that this action also highlights the genital region sending the message:
Men do other things like smoothing their hair, and fixing ties, to make them look their best. Men do these while women are watching to show their interest.
When a woman tosses her hair from one side to the other, the gesture appears more intentional, and is often followed by a well directed intimate gaze.
The same thing goes when a woman exposes the thin skin on her wrist. Both actions appeal to men saying, “I want to show you more.” Women can very well play with men’s minds by doing little things like wiping off their sweat, and fondling with their hair, fingers, and feet.
The most appealing sign a woman can give is to sit with one leg pressed on top of the other. This gesture makes the legs appear very well toned. A hand on the thigh completes the position and is definitely considered a call for the attention.
In summary, whenever people show their interest, an exchange takes place. When a mutual confirmation is established, one of them then makes the first move to approach. Body language makes up a very big part in the first moments of courtship, and may determine if people become more intimate.